I feel like I have so much I want to say, but I don’t know what it is. A simple “I am so sad right now” doesn’t seem enough, but it’s all that I can really seem to type. I’ve never been shy about my mental health, my problems, but sometimes it’s so scary to share that part of me with others.
I’d been doing so well the past couple of months, which then seems to make the fall that much harder. I’ve been dusting myself off and getting back up for the past 10 or so years, you’d think that I’d be used to it by now, but I’m not. I just feel more tired.
It’s hard to put into words what i’m feeling. Depressed, obviously. A failure? Of what, i’m not sure. Life maybe. When some of the most simple tasks to people is a huge deal for me. Like catching a bus. I feel stunted in so many ways. It’s amazing how I can be so full of life at times, but so scared to live.
I know it’s just another ‘rough patch’. That it’s probably the pain i’m in making everything else life throws at me harder. But right now, I just wish I had someone that would hold me & tell me that everything will be alright in the end.