A case of the blogger doubts ⋆ Natatree

I feel weird calling myself a ‘blogger’.

I’m never going to be a highly successful blogger, I can’t shmooze. I’m shy and awkward in person, I don’t have the confidence that you need to shine in person. I like to do my work behind a computer screen, I like to sit back and observe, I’m not the life of a party. I feel weird contacting companies, I tend to let them come to me, which isn’t really the way with blogging.

I don’t usually compare myself to other bloggers, I don’t check my stats daily & I’m usually pretty happy just doing my own thing. Though with this depression having been set in for awhile, I find i’m constantly doubting myself. Why aren’t companies contacting me? Why wasn’t I invited to that event? Why aren’t I special? I hope it’s something that all bloggers feel at some time, not that I want them to feel this way, I wish everyone ALL the success, but just because I don’t want to feel alone.

I also then feel stupid for thinking that, and admitting that, because in reality, I do pretty good. I’m happy with my blog, I blog for myself, I blog for you, I guess it would just be nice to be recognised a bit more for what I do. Blogging really isn’t all sunshine & sparkily shoes.

I’ve really alienated myself over the past few months, I’ve met some wondeful people through blogging & I need to learn to work on friendships. It’s not so easy, or fun, feeling so lonely. So i’m hoping to push through things, through this depression, through the anxiety, through the shyness and try and get out to some of the awesome blog meet ups that have been going on.