As i’ve been trying to push my boundaries as to what i’m comfortable doing, I find myself thinking of what I want & where I want things to take me. I think i’ll forever be trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up.
My life isn’t what I expected it to be. When I was really young, I wanted to be a check-out-chick, currently I’m a blogger. When I was 16, I never envisioned a future because I didn’t think i’d be alive, I am still up and kicking. When I was 21, I thought I’d still be a family with Adam. Now, I’m back in Sydney, living in a granny flat attached to my parents house, but I am surrounded by family, people who care about me.
I’ve learnt not to try and envison a future, there are too many ways things can change, to many variables to consider. Instead, I’ve been trying to focus on what I want, and sometimes, I want it all. Oh, and yes, at times I totally understand Queen when they sing “I want it all & I want it now”, I find myself having to reign myself in from the urge to throw a very Veruca Salt tantrum.
I don’t want to be a famous actor, I don’t want to find the cure to cancer (though, I do hope someone does!), my dreams are much more realistic. I want to be happy, I want to be loved, in love, I want to make art and be creative, I want to get back into baking, I want to explore, I want my own family. I want a pretty simple, low drama life. One day, I’ll get there, it IS achievable.