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If you really knew me…
There has been a lot of these posts floating around the blogosphere, and seeing as I’m kind of in a blogging slump, with my head being caught up in unpacking and such, I thought I’d join in. You’d know that I feel most alive when I’m surrounded by nature and animals. That being said, I like to have the modern conveniences of toilets, running water and internet. I’d love to just live in a beautiful house in the middle of a forest. You’d know that I don’t feel like ‘me’ without coloured hair. When I’ve tried going back to a more ‘natural’ colour, I get depressed. I tend to always go back…
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A post is which I ramble about stuff.
Sometimes I worry if I share too much on my blog, I don’t share it all, it’s only the tip of the iceberg but being so open on the internet can be hard. Blogging about fashion is easy, blogging about body acceptance comes natural to me, but being open and sharing stuff about my mental health can be hard. What if it puts people off? What if it jeoperdises working with a brand in the future? Then I remember, this is MY blog, and everybody has problems. My life is in scrambles at the moment. I don’t know which was is up and I feel so tired. Half my stuff is…
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Emotionally spent. Emotional spending.
When i’m emotional, I spend. It took me a long time to realise it, and even long to admit it, to myself & others. Emotional spending is one of the things that goes hand in hand with my mental disorder, but out of the list of negative things, for example drug use, unsafe sex, gambling and crazy driving, I’m glad that this is the one that I have the most problems with. That being said, I’ve certainly learnt to handle it better. Simple things. I don’t own a credit card, and honestly, I don’t ever want to. This means, I can only spend what I have. I have a separate savings account, that I…
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Depressed.
After getting over food poisoning & the periods from hell, it seems that depression has decided to come and pay me a visit. Thanks head. I’ve been doing pretty well mentally lately, I think i’ve been too busy to be anything otherwise. Packing, packing, playing with my animals, packing, writing, designing, packing. I know though, that I often push emotions to the side, bury them deep, and eventually they come at me, not leaving me any choice but to face them. I have an appointment with my (wonderful, amazing, great) psych on Monday, and i’ve been taking up some of the suggestions left on my facebook page. In the past…
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Sometimes it’s the little thing.
Depression sucks. No, really. It sucks you down into this hole, this pit, a deep deep well. It’s dark, you lose hope, you just want to sleep. This pit and I, we go way back. I’ve been visiting for over a decade. I really don’t like it there though, no, but it seems that every now & then I still take a bit of a visit ‘to the dark side’. Not the fun Star Wars dark side. The dark-dark side. I don’t know if it’s because i’m learning to deal with my emotions more, or if I’m just not feeling as much, but I don’t get depressed as often as…