Everyday I’m edging closer to the big Three-oh & I’m honestly not sure how i’m feeling about it. Scared, excited, nervous, anxious, proud, like i’ve failed, like i’ve succeeded. Lets just say, it’s been a bit of a roller-coaster but not all that many highs.
I never thought i’d make it to 30, I never thought I’d make it to 18, so in a way every birthday is even more of a celebration. Congratulations Natalie, you made it through another year. I’m proud of getting here, it’s been a battle and a half, but I’m here. But then I look back and see all that I haven’t done, at that I’ve struggled with and how it’s taken all my strength just to survive. I’m turning 30, but I feel I have nothing to show for it.
I try not to compare myself to anyone else, we are all individuals, but I look at people I know and their life and how some have kids (which I don’t want), are married, have their own house, and I’m here twiddling my thumbs crying over the fact I don’t know what to cook for dinner. But I also know that I am not alone in that, and that there are so many people who feel (felt) the same way turning 30, or even older. I guess that even though it feels like society sometimes gives you this life timeline they expect you to follow, it’s still your life to do with it what you want.
Grey hair, don’t care.
I’m getting together with friends both in Melbourne and Sydney for lunches to celebrate my 30th. I had a horrid fear nobody would turn up, but I knew if I didn’t do anything, I’d be sad and disappointed. Now I’m just trying to figure out what to wear.
I was going to do one of my crazy epic birthday wishlists like I normally do, but I find myself sitting here thinking “Eh, do I need any of this stuff”, which, apart from a chest of drawers, no I don’t. Would I like a new laptop, iPad, Digital SLR, YES, but I have my desktop, I have my dodgy broken mobile phone until my replacement comes in.
But here are a few favourite things of the moment (you may need to turn off ad blocker)
I also tend to pin things I like onto my Pinterest wishlist board HERE.