• Personal

    Confessionals.

    Sometimes, it’s hard to give up the past. It’s hard to look into the future and think of the positive. You get caught up reliving memories. You get stuck on the what ifs. I’ve been doing that a bit lately. What if? What if? ┬áLife throws curve balls at you when you least expect it. I try to keep positive, but it’s not always easy. I could say life isn’t easy, but then I feel bad, because compaired to so many others, my life is a piece of cake, but for me, I struggle. Struggle with the mundane. Even if I have become somewhat cynical, somewhat bitter, I still have…

  • Everyday,  Personal

    Oh so deep and meaningful.

    Life is weird. Sometimes as much as you wish sometimes that things would just stand still and stay that way, it doesn’t. It may be as ┬ásubtle as the flutter of insect wings, or as dramatic as a disastrous tornado, but you can’t stop change. I struggle with my head, lately, it seems like the hardest thing to do to just get out of bed. It’s not always like that, i’ve gone months where I feel fine, like a nearly ‘normal’ person. But I fell down a while ago, and I can’t seem to find my footing to stand back up straight again. My head gets filled with, what ifs,…

  • Everyday,  Personal

    Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

    May is BPD Awareness month. It’s oddly fitting that I seem to be in a black hole of depression at the moment. I’ve talked about my mental health a few times on the blog, I sometimes worry if I share too much, but when I get an email from a reader thanking me for being open about it, I know I’ve done the right thing. Mental illness has a certain stigma attached to it. It often makes people automatically think i’m crazy, bad, insane, and hey, to some I might be, but that’s not all I am. Everyone has layers. I struggle a hell of a lot. I understand that…

  • Personal

    Periods, Pregnancy, Polycystic Ovaries & Me.

    PLEASE NOTE: The subject matter of this post may be distressing. It talks about miscarriage and fertility issues. Those, my dear readers are my ovaries. Never thought you’d see those things now would you!? These internal ultrasound images (yes, it was as unpleasant as it sounded) were taken in 2008. I’d just turned 22. It feels like SO much has changed since then, and it has, but it turns out, my body really IS changing. Periods. It’s something some girls look forward to, others dread. I of course was sure that I’d get them for the first time in the middle of my Science Class and would never live it…

  • Personal

    Thoughts, mottos, musings.

    As i’ve mentioned 2013 is my year, i’ve been trying to put into action some new things, and keeping up some old ways of thinking that have helped me out in the past year, so I thought i’d take a moment to share. Now, I’m no expert, frankly, i’m pretty effed up in the head, these aren’t proven techniques, but just think about them. SURROUND YOURSELF IN HAPPINESS. It sounds cheesy, I know, but it’s one thing I’ve been trying to do lately and it helps. If something isn’t making you happy, don’t do it. If someone is bring you down, you don’t need them. Sure, every situation is different,…